post-interviews, pre-result feelings
Am filled with a mix of feelings right now - thoughts about leaving this place very soon, nightmares about my BTP and the course ADSP, anxiety about IIM results, memories of the time spent at Mumbai with my cousins, thoughts about people who are dear to me and a lots and lots of nostalgia.
Well, am done with my interviews. It feels like I just finished an important chapter of the book of my life.The last two months will be etched in my memory forever. Met some old people, some new people and learnt new lessons. Most important of all, gained some much needed confidence.
I wanted to make this post before the results come out because I do not want the results to affect my opinions in any way.
A novel experience indeed for me. For the first time in my life, I shamelessly boasted about myself. hell, I needed to sell myself. I hated that but I had to, I had to somehow portray that I was the best, I had to highlight my nondescript achievements and make them appear as if I had did something pathbreaking. I had to be extremely careful that the darker side of my personality didn't get exposed during that fateful one hour.
Back at college, we mostly move around in shabby clothes and dishevelled hair. But for the interviews, I tried my best to appear civilised and formal, clean and well ironed shirt and trouser plus a tie and shining shoes. Here among friends, we are instoppable at 'bakar' but when it comes to some sensible discussion, I talk only when I really feel like. But during the GDs, point or no point, I had to talk at regular intervals, I had to put up a smile but never really succeded in that. I had to convince the panelists that I am a group-worker and also have leadership skills!! During the interviews, I had to look at all the panelists, had to maintain a stupid smile on my face (again never really succeded), had to look into the eyes of the panelists and had to be "politically correct" while answering! I must admit that how to be politically correct was something I really learnt very well from this process.
I do not blame any of these things. Obvioulsy, we would be expected to dress properly for an interview as it reflects the sincerity on our part. We would be expected to talk a lot of sense because we are supposedly the future managers who would lead giant organisations and generate wealth! And when you are struggling to make a mark in the world, you can't rub the powers-that-be the wrong way. You have to be politically correct. But it just gave me an inkling of how life as a grown up would be. Once grown up, we would have to adjust our behaviour as per the expectations of the society and not as per our wishes. You either fail yourself but succeed in the eyes of the society or you please yourself but fail as per the yardstick of success followed by the society. I recently read somwhere - "The price you pay for conformity is that everyone except you yourself is happy with you."
Never in my life will I be nervous befor an interview. I still need to work upon the art of expressing myself well, because I really suck at that, but at least I have gained the confidence to get myself interviewed by big shots without being nervous. And I experienced first hand that confidence comes from preparation. I was well prepared except for some subjects and so never really felt afraid of interviews. It's really important to not to let insecurity creep in your life. With too much of insecurity around, life becomes tough and depressing thoughts come haunting every moment.
But I missed out on two very important experiences - being into a stress interview and being interviewed by a lady panelist. I wish at least one of my six interviews had provided me an opportunity to experience the above mentioned things. That would have made me even more confident and matured.
Results will now be out any time. I am enjoying the pre-result anxiety. Visiting PG every day to see if there is any update about the results. When I key in that TR number (btw, I will remember this number for the rest of my life) and the birthdate, what would the first word be - "Congratulations" or "Sorry"? Forget it! Whatever there was in my capacity, I have already done. Now all I can do is hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.
IIM or no IIM, I will remember fondly the past 8 months of my life because the destination is indeed important, but more important is the journey to the destination.
And the song by Aersomith that I am listening to right now is doing wonders to my spirit:
"Dream on, dream on, till your dreams come true!"
Well, am done with my interviews. It feels like I just finished an important chapter of the book of my life.The last two months will be etched in my memory forever. Met some old people, some new people and learnt new lessons. Most important of all, gained some much needed confidence.
I wanted to make this post before the results come out because I do not want the results to affect my opinions in any way.
A novel experience indeed for me. For the first time in my life, I shamelessly boasted about myself. hell, I needed to sell myself. I hated that but I had to, I had to somehow portray that I was the best, I had to highlight my nondescript achievements and make them appear as if I had did something pathbreaking. I had to be extremely careful that the darker side of my personality didn't get exposed during that fateful one hour.
Back at college, we mostly move around in shabby clothes and dishevelled hair. But for the interviews, I tried my best to appear civilised and formal, clean and well ironed shirt and trouser plus a tie and shining shoes. Here among friends, we are instoppable at 'bakar' but when it comes to some sensible discussion, I talk only when I really feel like. But during the GDs, point or no point, I had to talk at regular intervals, I had to put up a smile but never really succeded in that. I had to convince the panelists that I am a group-worker and also have leadership skills!! During the interviews, I had to look at all the panelists, had to maintain a stupid smile on my face (again never really succeded), had to look into the eyes of the panelists and had to be "politically correct" while answering! I must admit that how to be politically correct was something I really learnt very well from this process.
I do not blame any of these things. Obvioulsy, we would be expected to dress properly for an interview as it reflects the sincerity on our part. We would be expected to talk a lot of sense because we are supposedly the future managers who would lead giant organisations and generate wealth! And when you are struggling to make a mark in the world, you can't rub the powers-that-be the wrong way. You have to be politically correct. But it just gave me an inkling of how life as a grown up would be. Once grown up, we would have to adjust our behaviour as per the expectations of the society and not as per our wishes. You either fail yourself but succeed in the eyes of the society or you please yourself but fail as per the yardstick of success followed by the society. I recently read somwhere - "The price you pay for conformity is that everyone except you yourself is happy with you."
Never in my life will I be nervous befor an interview. I still need to work upon the art of expressing myself well, because I really suck at that, but at least I have gained the confidence to get myself interviewed by big shots without being nervous. And I experienced first hand that confidence comes from preparation. I was well prepared except for some subjects and so never really felt afraid of interviews. It's really important to not to let insecurity creep in your life. With too much of insecurity around, life becomes tough and depressing thoughts come haunting every moment.
But I missed out on two very important experiences - being into a stress interview and being interviewed by a lady panelist. I wish at least one of my six interviews had provided me an opportunity to experience the above mentioned things. That would have made me even more confident and matured.
Results will now be out any time. I am enjoying the pre-result anxiety. Visiting PG every day to see if there is any update about the results. When I key in that TR number (btw, I will remember this number for the rest of my life) and the birthdate, what would the first word be - "Congratulations" or "Sorry"? Forget it! Whatever there was in my capacity, I have already done. Now all I can do is hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.
IIM or no IIM, I will remember fondly the past 8 months of my life because the destination is indeed important, but more important is the journey to the destination.
And the song by Aersomith that I am listening to right now is doing wonders to my spirit:
"Dream on, dream on, till your dreams come true!"
posted by Vivek Pabari at 1:54 AM
14 Comments:
The process of navigating the right path to IIM's revolves around marketing urself and bluffing. master of these arts rulz. Well, long journey on this road, will definitely bring new horizons. B.O.L. viki
y it is so difficult 2 be urself???i m curious...did u try being urself in any of the gd/pi's??Its just my curiosity n shd not be interpreted as any form of accusation or anything judgemental..ofcourse u can tell me to mind my own busines...
There are several things that you cannot tell to the panelists.
There are several issues about which you may have radical views but you cannot xpress them to the panelists. e.g. in my IIMC interview, I told the panelists that Gandhiji's non-iolence idea is still very much applicable though I myself am not very much convinced. But I am sure that had I said that it is not applicable in present day, I would have been grilled badly.
So, you indeed have to put up a show at times.
so they dont want ur individuality,ur views,ur expression,the real u all they want is ur social conformity....I am not in ur place so it might b easy 4 me 2 say...u cd hv given a stark naked u to atleast one of them..who knows may b it wd hv been a better experience...again ..if u r bugged with my prying..can still ask me to mind my own business.....
forgot to add unnecessary and unwanted ..read "I am not in ur place so it might b easy(at the same time unnecessary and unwanted) 4 me 2 say....
He vivek,
I read each of ur blog and wanna comment on each of them but too lazzy to do that.
But before the results are there i just wanna say that if is it not u then nobody deserves.
That is why I mentioned that you have to be politically correct.
Again, that depends upon person to person. If someone is very confident and knowledgeable, one can always take radical stances and still come out unscathed. But mind you, these professors are immensely knowledgeable and can really bring you down to your feet if you have an air that just by having unconventional, non-conforming views, you can be superior to others.
For example, there was a guy who said at IIMB that his role-model was Hitler. The panelists screwed him left, right and centre.
Honesty is indeed the best policy in GD/PIs. But one needs to be cunning too. Why invite trouble when you can just breeze through by giving some cliched answers? I could have said negative things about Gandhiji. And then I am sure my entire interview would have been used by panelists to prove that we hot-headed youngsters know nothing and yet pass I-know-it-all type of comments. Why waste an interview in this way? In stead, if there are really good things in my profile, why not focus on bringing them out. My views on Gandhiji are not going to affect my performance as a professional in any way. Why should I then take a risk of pissing-off the panelists?
What we see as individuality, these experienced professors interpret as immaturity and arrogance, which is perhaps true.
as i said it earlier tht i m not in ur place so i dont know how i wd hv reacted..with no strings attached ,i can say lot may things but you know this is more cliched tht ppl r non conformist or aberrant or diff. just 2 claim their fame 2 superiority,may b they really feel so,I agree tht they may b wrong (bcoz they r not aware of certain aspects or a specific case)n some one else can put forth a rational justification to prove them wrong,but then no one is omniscient,but ofcourse to just stand on point based on whims n prejudices wd b more foolish,if some one gives u a rational reason accept it....but the point is tht before u r being proved wrong u felt it tht way n u shd not b afraid to speak up ur mind ...issue of arrogance arise when u just shrug away from rationality..n immature i dont know wht 2 say abt it some times evn a fully grown adult is more immature then a 5 yr old kid ...pragmatically speaking the bottomline is "wht is ur priority??"...whtever a person chooses is solely his discretion n shd live by his principles n his choices.....i hope this whole discussion is taken as it was meant 2 b taken n not as parliament discussion whr politicians r out 2 grab each others balls...you know you said it right we rarely talk sense ..all v do is bakar..anyways thanks for ur responses ....
Yeah, you were there to sell yourself and you were at the wrong side of table! So there's nothing wrong in doing so, see what you've done is to portray good qualities of yourself and hide bad qualities, if any. You didn't tell a lie thats more important.
I was not asked to give my views in any of the interviews so I was never in such a dilemma whether to give politically answers or not..but one thing which makes me happy is that I never told a lie in any interview. That's more like me :)
The brush with interviews was a time to realise our selves. I was humbled by people working in various companies with work-ex and their backgrounds. It was a great learning experience. Infact it taught us what it takes to get a foothold in the world outside.
Wonderful post! Such posts will be of tremendous help to people like me who're yet to face the brunt of the interviews! Really well written!
All the very best for the results, buddy! And I have no doubt as to what's gonna be the first word that meets ur eyes after u key in ur TR number on all 6 occassions when you're required to... Congratulations!
I really thought what they joked about IAS's and IIMs interviews were just jokes..i mean you wrote the blog at the time when i just faced my sen presentation and man are u right about "selling yourself"..im really happy fr you man..and yes still "dream on "
Due, thanks for provisind an opportunity to comment "anonymously"..if not, I wouldn't be commenting.
Anyway, in your blog u said "I still need to work upon the art of expressing myself well". After reading your blog, I am surprised that you express such a feeling. Frankly, in writing you express yourself beautifully. The language is simple, direct, clear and has an element of sincerity and honesty. Whatever you write comes forth clearly to the reader. I would like to compliment you on the way you express yourself. The fact that you blog is interesting to read is in itself proof of your ability to express yourself well. (I dunno if you were referring to expressing yourself verbally - I am unable to comment on that.
After reading several of your blog posts, I noticed that you write on varied subjects that touch your heart....reservations for OBCs, to being a brother to your sisters, to homosexuality....and you make them all interesting to read.
And all the best for your results...may your every dream come true...march ahead dude, make India proud.
Hey dude, I just posted a blog anonymously...and then someone came in while I was typing it and in a hurry I had to publish it without checking. So, sorry for the errors.
I wanted to add another comment. I noticed that you observe things around you and the things you observe around you provoke strong feelings in you. And you seem to be deeply disturbed and concerned about these issues. I think this is a very encouraging thing. If all the young and educated youth of the country do the same thing, then surely people will start taking a stand on issues and address them. You guys are the future of the country. You have an opportunity of good education. And in all probability, you will hold good positions in the near future. If people like you feel strongly about issues that face the country, then surely there is hope for the country. Make your voice heard....but I am also hoping that all voices like yours will find or create a platform to join together and, more importantly, do something about these issues. Feelings and emotions are the starting point. I hope they will result in some action....don't let anything stop you. Once again, all the best.
Post a Comment
<< Home