Hold infinity in the palm of your hand

I did something today that I had been thinking to do since my first semester here. Pretty materialistic though, I finally did that today just to satisfy the young man within me, the one whom I often keep reined for the fear that it may overwhelm me. But sometimes, there is no escape and you have to do something even if it is superfluos, avoidable and worst of all burns a hole in your pocket.

The insti has become a great place to live in these days. With most of the students off to their home for the holidays, the place has become quiet and immensely peaceful, though boring sometimes. Often in a day, I happen to talk to other students only for 15-20 minutes. The days are passing by with me close to myself, no one to invade my privacy, no pressing schedule to make me give up what I really want to do.

By the way, came across these beautiful lines in a book:

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wildflower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.

- William Blake, The auguries of innocence

Really beautiful, na?

Never get too emotional

Never ever get too emotional!

This is the lesson I learnt yesterday, albeit after wasting my precious evening.

I was all set to do some important work yesterday, when I came across the blog of one guy. He could have been my batchmate but due to circumstances isn't. Whereever he is, he is doing really well. His profile sent my spirits to doldrums. I was feeling like I was of no repute, no significance. I suddenly started feeling inferior. In spite of doing very well here, I was feeling like I had wasted my last 2 years here running after things of no importance. I wasted the intellect I am fortunate to possess because i didn't use it for things challenging enough. I started hating myself.

But soon, I was brought to senses by a prolonged introspection. I came to the conclusion that there wasn't anything inferior about me. I wan only different, not inferior to anyone. And lo, I was agsin feeling good about myself.

So the problem was detected. I has gotten carried away. I had become too emotional and paid for it by wasting my precious 2-3 hrs. I will try my best to not to let this happen again.

Its manageable if you have a superiority complex. But an inferiority one, it will render you useless.

Talked to an old schoolmate today. It was our first interaction in the last 2 and a half years. The first one, after I left my hometown for college.

Not that we were any great friends. But were definitely good to each other coz she was one of the rare breed of intelligent and beautiful girls and I was the topper of the class. After school, I joined DA-IICT and she joined NHL for physiotherapy. Our last meeting was somewher in july-2002. After that it was today that I talked to her, thanks to the mobile revolution. I would have never dared to call her up on her home-phone. But because this was her own phone, I gave it a shot.

Anyway, it was her birthday today and so I did have a reason to give her a call.
However, I felt the lack of warmth in her voice. See man, not everyone is as emotional and as nostalgic about people, things and places as I am. It seemed to me that for her, I was just another person whom she came across for a brief period. But I cannot have this kind of an attitude towards people, with whom I have spent 2 years of my life. Somehow, everyone, with whom I have spent, a significant amount of time, is important to me, even if we weren't very close.

Not everyone thinks the way as I do. So someone might be important for me, but I might not be for him. But then this is life. So carry on, dude.

CAT results have created terrible wave of resentment on the campus. All seniors are fuming at the hostility IIMs have shown towards DA-IICT.

Anee has 98.2 %ile and clears all sectional cutoffs ( as given on coaching class websites. IIMs do not declare cutoffs). But she doesn't have a single call, not even from kozhikode. Same is the case with prtham kumar who has 98.8 %ile. Even Sid mohan ( > 99 ) does not have a call, it seems. Nidhi Minj is from reserved category and did well in the exam. But there isn't any news about her. If she also doesn't get a call then, according to Anee, there is something wrong.
Now, the bad part is that Anee told me that she received a call when she was at home and the person at the other end claimed to be from IIMB. He told her mother that it was a normal process of verification and then went on to ask if our college has AIU approval. This happened with pratham kumar and Sid Mohan also. The call was made befor the results were out. She told me that 3 people had received the call and all 3 of them have > 98 %ile which is sufficient for a call from at least kozhikode. So Anee thinks that thoug they qualified, IIMs deliberately dropped them. The call was on a landline phone and so the number of the calling party could not be checked.

There are news that somebody complained to IIMs that there are around 70 colleges which aren't approved. But their students are writing CAT. And the grapevine is that IIMs have blacklisted all these 70 istitutes, of which we are one. This was told to Anee by Dua. So we have to believe it.
So students here have started getting a feeling that the recognitonproblem did them in.
If our college has already been listed and what our seniors are thinking is really true, I fear the IIMs would not let us even write CAT next year because by the time the forms are to be submitted (september) we might not have our recognition, though we might have it by the final admissions next year.

We will have to be prepared with our options. because if not now, we will never be able to write CAT 'coz it is one's graduation only that decides his elligibility.

My reaction? - "fuck kudchadker. what was he doing all these years?"

Hey what culd be the worst case scenario? - I slogging in an IT company (CT companies are not comin for campus interviews) writing lines of code, with a student from Nirma or REC Surathkal ( I rejected both the instis) and MBA from an IIM shooting orders at me. boohooho.

I pray that Nidhi gets a call. Pleeeeeez GOD, pleeeeez.

Hi,

having holidays these days.

Didn't do quite well in the exams. But spirits still high. Actually, academics do not matter much now. However, screwing up exams does hurt because exams that we have in our college aren't rot-driven. They really test our understanding in the subjects. So doing bad means that I didn't understand the subject. This is what hurts me because I really my field of engineering and consider it my utmost priority to learn as much as I can in four years of my B.tech because after 4 years, with a heavy heart, I am going to switch to management. Not that I don't like management. But technical stuff is intellectually more challenging. I love exercising my grey cells than dealing with lesser morons. But then I am afraid technical line is not that much rewarding. And I was not born to die as just another human being. So wanna get into corporate world to learn the ropes of business and then venture on my own, probably with a technology company.

By the way, I am preparing for CAT these days. The stuff seems to be easy, man. Everuthing seems to be of a child's play. But yup, my accuracy is at a zilch. And though I feel I have a good vocab, the words in the mocks are always those which I never knew. And calculations, they will be my nemesis throughout. Mistakes, I am fond of committing them, Urgh. And though I have been slapped hard from time to time by my mistakes, I have continued with them. Hats-off to my loyalty.